Just for Kicks
by bcofz
Summary: Rick's first "Morty" was his wife, and before she became his wife, she was his friend. After a small fling in high school, Rick and Beth's mom find each other again a few years later and begin traveling through space and eventually through alternate dimensions. Ship of Rick and his (ex) wife, my OC, Eleanore. Rick/Mrs. Sanchez. Rick/OC. T for strong language (like the show).
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A brilliant blue flash sliced through the darkness and woke Eleanore from a sound sleep. Its accompanying noise—something out of _Doctor Who_ —made Eleanore shake her head, separating the bizarre dream from reality. As she threw her duvet from her legs and moved to investigate, she heard the sound of a limb colliding with her desk followed by a man's voice: "Fuck!"

Eleanore froze; she braced herself to scream for help when a clammy hand clamped over her mouth.

"D-Don't freak out—don't freak out! It's me. It's Rick." He released her, and Eleanore immediately flicked on her lamp. Sure enough, Rick had found his way into her room and onto the bed next to her.

"Rick!" His shit-eating grin disappeared when Eleanore swatted at him. "What is _wrong_ with you? Do you know what time it is? Did—Did you break into my apartment?" She hissed her reproaches, delivering a few more smacks to his arm for good measure.

"Ow! _Ow!"_ protested Rick. "Who cares wh-wh-what time it is?" After catching a glimpse of Eleanore's face, he quickly added, "No, I didn't _break in._ I _portal-ed_ in here. I invented a new mode of transportation _and_ a new verb—quit _hitting_ me!"

Eleanore folded her arms across her chest. "'Portal-ed'," she repeated. "Like, you _teleported_ in here." Rick simply nodded, pride plastered on his face. "So that...psychedelic light wasn't a dream."

"All real, baby," he flirted. "Check it out."

He passed the portal gun to Eleanore. She turned it over in her hands, studying the simple contours, dials, and analog screen. "Is it an egg timer? Or a...radio? It looks like a tiny, terrifying microwave."

Rick snatched the gun back, the pride melting off his face. "It's a portal gun. Context clues, baby love." He tapped the glowing, blue test tube on top. "Portal fluid. I m-made it from _scratch_. We can go anywhere. _Anywhere."_

"Can we go in the morning?"

"Ha, ha."

Eleanore took the portal gun back, and she examined the portal fluid closer. "How did you make this? The math must've been—" She squinted. "Is that my earring?"

Rick ignored her question. "I came as soon as I _perfected_ it." Eleanore knit her eyebrows in response, and Rick added, "Well, kind of. Still working out some kinks. I w-woke up one of your roommates before I made it to your room. She sleeps in the nude, FYI."

"Who? Wh—never mind. Don't answer that." Eleanore sighed and raked her fingers through her hair. "Rick, this is really amazing." The admiration in her words didn't match the solemnity of her face as she placed the gun back into his hands. "But we talked about this. I can't go with you. I have school and a job and...I'm seeing someone. I can't just pack up and leave everything."

"Like I did, you mean?"

"I didn't say that."

"Did you have to?" Rick spat. Eleanore remained silent, unsure of a response. "Look, I'm not asking you to run away from your life," he continued. "Just one trip. One 'a-adventure.' You and me—Eleanore and Rick! But this time _in space."_ He framed his speech with a grand sweeping gesture, glancing sideways with hope-filled eyes.

Eleanore frowned. _"Fine,"_ she replied after a beat. Rick punched the air, and Eleanore heaved a great sigh.

"Yes! _Yes!"_ Rick cried. "Let's go. Wh-Where do you wanna go? Anywhere you w-want. What's your favorite planet? Y-Y-Your favorite star? I know the perfect spot." With a flourish, Rick aimed the gun at the floor, producing a luminescent portal. Eleanore let out a surprised squawk as Rick took her by the hand and jumped feet-first into the portal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You can let go of my hand now."

"This isn't right..."

"Rick, seriously. Let go." Eleanore wrenched her hand out of his, wrapping her arms around herself. "Where are we? It's _freezing."_

"You shouldn't have w-worn pajamas," Rick replied, obviously more engrossed in his portal gun than Eleanore; he fiddled with the dials, examining the tiny screen. "Does that look like the Crab Nebula to you?" He pointed to the sky, keeping his eyes on the device.

"Is that a...trick question?" Eleanore blinked at the stars that freckled the sky. "These constellations are completely different from ours. I couldn't tell you—"

"Useless," muttered Rick. Eleanore made a face somewhere between amused and bemused. "Y-You should be able to see it with your naked—naked eye. That was the w-was the whole _point."_ He smacked the gun with the heel of his hand and continued to mumble to himself.

While Rick fiddled with the portal gun, Eleanore kicked at the ground with her slipper. Shrubbery littered the earth, and in the few bare areas there was sand, shining silver in the twilight. Four moons shone across the flat terrain, revealing a smattering of flora. Aside from the sand, bushes largely covered the ground. Flowers poked through the dirt at intervals. The desert-like flora informed the chilly air; Eleanore knew desert nights could be far colder and deadlier, but this didn't keep her teeth from chattering.

"Here." Rick thrust his lab coat in her direction. Eleanore took it, grateful. She turned her attention skyward, studying the new constellations until she heard Rick's voice again. "Wolff, c'mon." He had started down a worn path as Eleanore's mind wandered. Without waiting for a response, Rick stalked further down the way.

"Rick! Would you _wait?_ My legs are shorter than yours!"

* * *

"Just so we're clear, this _isn't_ Earth," Rick informed Eleanore while they made their way through the alien terrain. "We're not back in _California_ or Arizona or, God f-forbid, _Utah."_

"Hey, Utah's okay."

Rick only shrugged, continuing, "Point _is,_ this isn't Earth, and while it's not within spitting distance of a beautiful supernova r-remnant, it's an adventure."

"Did I say it wasn't?" Eleanore was more than happy to explore.

The night breeze kicked up sand, and Eleanore hugged Rick's lab coat closer to her as the dust swirled around them. "So, not Earth," she said. "Yeah. What is this place?"

"Sterky…poo."

"You just made that up."

"N- _No_ , it says so right there." Rick pointed to a wooden sign about fifty feet down the path. Even in the dim moonlight, Eleanore could see a collection of bizarre characters on it.

"That sign is complete gibberish," she countered, not even bothering to roll her eyes.

When they reached the signpost, Eleanore reached up to touch it; her fingers glided over the imprinted letters. "Obviously somebody made this. Crudely, but still."

 _"Obviously,"_ Rick echoed. This time he dodged Eleanore's smack.

"Don't be shitty."

"Chill, Margaret Mead." Rick grabbed Eleanore by the shoulders and moved her from behind the sign. A few orange spots glowed in the near distance. Around the closest fire, there stood a few shanty-type shelters; a leather-type material covered each. The lean-tos were tattered and worn, but they seemed efficient in keeping the desert wind at bay. "Just ask _them_ where we are instead of trying to p-pry secrets out of a wooden sign." Rick traipsed onwards in the direction of the closest encampment. Eleanore had to jog to keep up with his lengthy strides.

* * *

"Rick."

"Hm?"

"Rick, those are bugs." Eleanore stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a hunched figure stoking the nearest campfire. She grabbed Rick's sleeve and hissed, "Those are big-ass bugs."

"Wolff, you're a scientist. A-Are you telling me you're _grossed out_ by anthropomorphic insects?"

"I'm an _astrophysicist_ not an entomologist. You know I hate life sciences." It wasn't enough of a phobia to overcome her curiosity, but the shock of a 6-foot-tall, bipedal fly caused her to hesitate. "I just wasn't expecting...that."

"Show a little _chutzpah_ , cadet."

Eleanore pursed her lips. "You first, _shegetz."_

"Uh, h-hey!" Rick shouted now they were in earshot. Eleanore watched as the fly's head shot up. It was the only organism awake in its encampment, and while it didn't seem aggressive, Eleanore remained wary. "Hey, man. What it is? We're, uh, tr-travelers. We're a _little_ lost—wondering where we are. Any chance you could help?"

Before Eleanore could berate Rick for assuming the alien spoke English (or anything resembling an Earth language), the fly replied, "Oh, sure, dude. Yeah. You're, like, in the dead middle of the Theemly desert. Where are you trying to get to?"

Eleanore gawked at the alien, then turned to Rick to be sure she'd heard correctly. Rick was nonplussed. He didn't glance her way, but he replied to the fly, "Far out, man, but I w-was talking more on the, er, planetary-scale."

The fly blinked. If he had had a mouth rather than dangling flesh sacs, Eleanore was certain he would have frowned. "Like, what planet are you on?" Rick nodded, and the fly blinked once more before replying, "Gromflom Prime."

"Gromflom Prime! You—you hear that, Eleanore? This place is like an episode of Star Trek, a-a Dr. Seuss book! This is great. W-W-Well, nice to meet you, my man. I'm Rick, this is Eleanore. Wh-What have we got cooking here? Smells scrumdiddlyumptious." Without an invitation, Rick took a seat beside the gromflamite. He leaned close to inspect the fire and the spit on which meat and some sort of plant were roasting. Rick patted the ground on his other side, nodding for Eleanore to join them, but she didn't move; she simply gaped at his gumption.

"Uh, well, we've got some gromflamite meat there and then some kelp, I guess," the fly replied, pointing to the respective morsels on the spit. "But, I mean, I only made enough for me." When neither human responded, he continued, "I'm Gootary Larry. Nice to meet you guys. Kinda." Gootary Larry seemed confused but otherwise unassuming. Eleanore took a seat beside Rick, eyes trained on their new companion.

"Gootary Larry. I'm s-sorry that name is r-r-ridiculous. Can I call you Gary? Nice—nice middle ground?" Rick grabbed a spare stick and poked at the fire.

"Not Gary," squeaked Eleanore. When Rick gave her a look, she added quickly, "It's rude to not call him by his real name."

Rick narrowed his eyes, but conceded: "Well, Gootary Larry, it's your lucky day b-because you're gonna show us tourists around Gromflam Prime."


	3. Chapter 3

He woke up without a hint of a hangover. Rick couldn't tell if he was still a bit drunk from the night before or if he was extremely lucky. Looking at Eleanore by his side, dead asleep and snoring like a grown man, he fancied it was the latter. Her bare back was exposed and peeking through beneath the sheets. He took a moment to watch her breathing before he slid out of bed. He threw on a pair of sweatpants and headed for the minibar in their hotel room. Rick washed the morning breath from his mouth with a swig of vodka, grimacing as the warmth burned down his throat. Grimly, Rick looked at the kitchenette, his stomach rumbling.

"Breakfast," he mumbled, his voice deep, gravelly.

"You making breakfast?" Squanchy was sprawled out in front of the veranda, lying where the morning sun lit up the carpet.

"With what?" grumbled Rick. He opened the mini-fridge: nothing. "I was g-gurrrp-onna make something for..." He trailed off, gesturing toward the adjoining bedroom from where from where he'd just come.

"Oh, ho, ho," sang Squanchy. "Somebody got squanchy last night. Should've guessed since this is your home planet. Just wait 'til we get to Planet Squanch."

"Uh, yeah. I dunno," Rick replied, rubbing his neck.

"What do you mean you don't know? You won't squanch right for a week, dude!"

Rick looked from Squanchy back to the bedroom, silent. After a second, he asked, "Wh-Where's the—the—the room service menu?"

Squanchy pointed to the rabbit ears on the television set. Rick grabbed the menu and, finding its options unappealing, resigned to get coffee from the hotel lobby. He donned a t-shirt—probably Bird Person's—that was thrown over the armchair, and he groggily made his way toward the coffee.

Squanchy was asleep again when Rick opened the door. Just as well; he had only brought coffee for two.

With some juggling, Rick got the bedroom door open. To his surprise, Eleanore was up and had pulled on his t-shirt from the night before. It hung off one shoulder, and Eleanore looked at him with sleep-filled eyes. Nothing had ever looked so beautiful.

"Good morning, Ellie," Rick greeted her, using her nickname from high school. He didn't notice the grimace on her face when she heard it. "Brought you some _caf_ _é."_

"Radical," replied Eleanore, reaching for her cup. "Thanks." She sipped it, sighing in delight.

For several minutes, they sat like that: sipping their coffee in silence until they both spoke up.

"L-Listen, Ellie, about last night—"

"Can I use your phone?"

Rick blinked. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. I'll give you some space, then." He hesitated only for a moment and backed out of the room, giving Eleanore a wan smile. He made his way to the kitchenette, leaning up against the cheap counter until he drained his coffee.

"...Yeah, um, I went home with Rick last night."

His name caught his attention, even though Eleanore was speaking quietly. Rick furrowed his brow, inching closer.

"Fuck, I don't know," she was whispering. "I mean, he just showed up out of nowhere after two years. I'm so _stupid."_ She paused, listening to the person on the other line. "What am I supposed to tell Gary?" Eleanore sounded choked up, frantic. _Who the hell is Gary?_ Rick pressed his ear to the door. "No," Eleanore said after a pause. She stayed silent another few seconds, listening. "It has to be. Rick is toxic."

Rick bristled; his anger bubbled up, a defense against the hurt he felt.

"A one-time thing. It has to be." Eleanore mumbled a goodbye, and the phone clicked. Rick turned and leaned his back against the bedroom door, mulling over what he'd heard. He supposed he deserved it. He had left Eleanore. She'd been collateral when he ran from his mother's memory, his foster family, his absentee father. The feeling of guilt was overtaken by anger. He did what was best for him. Maybe she was better off without him, anyway. He had done her a favor...and fucked it all up again. Rick groaned, slapping his palm to his head. Idiot.

"Rick?" She had him again—just the sound of her voice, and his anger dissolved.

Rick opened the door slowly. Eleanore was standing by the telephone in nothing but his t-shirt. He cleared his throat, taking the extra effort to keep his eyes from her legs, her hips, her breasts.

He cleared his throat again.

"Yeah, wha-urrrp-at's happening?"

"Bogue," Eleanore replied, blowing away his burp, her face twisted in disgust. "Listen, Rick..." She took a seat at the edge of the bed. "We need to talk." She patted the duvet, and he took a seat next to her. "I know we both were pretty drunk last night, so I guess I just wanted to apologize for my behavior."

"Eleanore—"

"No, hang on. Lemme finish." She put her hand on his leg and looked him dead in the eye. "I wanted to let you know I understand that you're going on tour, and you all are going all over the country, er, the galaxy." Rick shook his head. "Okay, the universe? The universe. Basically, this was a one-time thing. I'm not trying to hold you back or anything." She looked away, swallowing. "Uh, so, yeah. That's it." She stood. "I'm gonna get out of your hair."

"Eleanore, wait." Rick grabbed her hand and stood as well. He was more than head taller than her now. "I wanted to ask you something." Eleanore's eyes widened. Rick rushed to quell her fears. "It's not—it's not, uh...look, I want to take you with me."

Eleanore took back her hand and wrapped her arms around herself. "On tour?"

"Wherever. To the moon. No, f-further. Saturn, Polaris, every part of the constellation T-Taurus. I want to take you with me this time."

Eleanore was silent. She took a few steps back. "Rick..."

"Before you say no, just—just think about it."

Eleanore sighed. "Rick, this is what you do. You run away."

"No, not this time. I want you to come with me—"

"You're going to abandon your friends?"

Rick blinked.

Eleanore looked up at him, trying to smile. "I can't. I just... _can't."_ She turned away, and Rick's heart fell to his stomach. "Listen, I'll go as soon as I find my dress..."

Rick shook his head. "Keep the shirt. Borrow some sweatpants. I'll...I'll have Bird Person or Squanchy drop off your dress before we check out." He hadn't noticed before, but she had already gathered her things.

"Oh, okay." She fiddled with the earring in her left ear. "And let me know if you find my other earring, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I need that dress back. It's Sindy's."

"Who?"

"My roommate, Rick."

"Oh." He rummaged through his nearby suitcase and tossed a pair of sweatpants Eleanore's way. She caught them easily.

"Thanks." They stood for a moment in silence, this one more painful than the last. "Goodbye, Rick."

"Goodbye."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hopefully it was evident that this was a flashback; if not, surprise! It was a flashback. Our regularly scheduled program will continue shortly.


	4. Chapter 4

Theirs was a pleasant chat as they waited for the sun to peak over the desert horizon. Eleanore tried to keep herself from being distracted by the landscape: the foreign stars, by the strange tinge to the air entranced her. If Rick added to the conversation between themselves and Gootary Larry, she would have been complacent in her musings. Eleanore caught glimpses of Rick's face. It shone warm in the firelight as he listened to the conversation, silent. He was deep in thought, though Eleanore couldn't pretend to know what he was thinking about. She saw his brow furrow, his nostrils flare. Every time he caught her eye, though, Rick would sneer or stick out his tongue, trying to push her attention from him.

"Where did you say you were from?" Gootary Larry looked expectantly at Eleanore, and she tore her gaze away from Rick. A twinge of guilt pulled at her; on an alien planet, she was more interested in what was circling through Rick Sanchez's mind than a living, breathing extra-terrestrial.

"Oh, uh, it's a place called Earth," she replied when it was obvious Rick wouldn't deign to answer so mundane a question. "Some places look like this. My home was the desert." Utah to Arizona to California...Eleanore felt safe in the American Southwest; it was kismet that Rick had managed to find a planet so familiar to her home.

"Earth," Gootary Larry echoed. "Like dirt. What a name." He didn't seem impressed with the name, but he continued to press Eleanore about it. _Do all the beings look like you? Is there always such discrepancy in sizes? What is the Earth's defense protocol like?_

Rick cleared his throat. "L-Look, man. We came here to learn about your planet, explore, maybe f-fuck shit up—typical American style—" he shot a brazen grin in Eleanore's direction "—not to answer bullshit questions about Earth. Wh-Wh-Why don't we move this party somewhere more exciting than a cannibalistic campfire?"

Gootary Larry looked from Eleanore to Rick, his expression blank. As Eleanore opened her mouth to say... _something_ , the bug replied. "Do you wanna meet s'more Gromflomites?" He spoke slowly, deliberately, and Eleanore worried her lip before placing a tentative hand on Rick's knee. She didn't like the change in atmosphere brought on by Rick's outburst.

Eleanore leaned closer to Rick so she could whisper quietly and candidly. "Maybe we should call it a day? Head back—?" She was nearly knocked over as Rick suddenly stood, exclaiming.

"Yes! My man, let's do it. Let's meet more! C'mon, Eleanore, don't be a _buzzkill_." Pulling Rick's labcoat tighter around her shoulders, Eleanore merely frowned. She made a motion for them to go ahead with their antics: _Be my guest._

"Excellent," trilled Gootary Larry, rubbing together what could be construed as his hands. His delicate insect wings began to flutter as he hovered a foot or so off the ground. "Right this way."

"No wings, dude," offered Rick, his voice flat with boredom.

"Oh. I wasn't sure…" Gootary Larry studied the humans beneath him. "Thought maybe you were hiding them somewhere." He landed back in the sand. "Alrighty, then, we'll walk."

Eleanore shook her head at the exchange, and as Gootary Larry and Rick began to walk, she took a moment to herself and stand. Regardless of her worry and no matter what she said, she knew Rick would be hard to convince to call the "adventure" quits. Stubborn ass. With a sigh, Eleanore wiped her pajamas clear of sand and began to traipse along just behind her two taller companions.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this was so short! I wanted to get it out there after the impromptu radio silence.**


End file.
